CBD & ME

During birth my daughter sustained a Traumatic Brain Injury and had near constant tonic-clonic (Grand Mal) seizures for the first days of her life.
 
She was about a year old when we realized she was a little slow on some “major” milestones.
 
It took 3 therapists that worked with her every day day for months before she could walk – she was 23 months old.
 
It was around age 3 when someone said that she might benefit from that “new oil from weed?!”
 
I googled and discovered Cannabidiol (“CBD“).
 
At the time, CBD was fringe science and pretty much only legal in Colorado. I begged my husband to let us [illegally] get some for our daughter. He said no. He wasn’t willing to hear me out or listen to the success stories. The stigma of the evils of weed was real we weren’t going to give our child drugs.
 
He and I are opposites. He is on the straight and narrow, work hard, do right, serve your country and always play by the rules. There’s nothing wrong with that. I love him for who he is- even when he is close-minded and stubborn as a mule… mostly.
 
I, on the other hand, am scrappy. When there are closed doors in my face, I find my own way in. I trust no one (especially the government and big pharma), I am sarcastic, I speak my mind and I cuss a lot, I question everything, and I most definitely don’t play by the rules- I study the rules and learn how to break them. I suppose he loves me because I am different.
 
Over the years, I have brought CBD up over and over as a good treatment for our daughter, she has anxiety and emotional issues- instead of CBD he agreed to put her on Zoloft– which I think is worse than CBD but he thinks a pharmaceutical from big pharma and approved by the FDA is trustworthy. His option is legal and at the time, mine wasn’t. Zoloft it was. Then it was stronger, and stronger, and stronger doses.
 
I begged him to move to Colorado where CBD was legal. This is an ongoing request of mine.
 
Fall/Winter of 2018 and early 2019. I get sick. Real sick. The kind of sick that we discussed and made plans for my family for after I left them. That. Sick. I was miserable, still working, pretending every day that I wasn’t as sick as I was. My medicine doesn’t work. I am told that if my lungs aren’t clear I will have a max of 3-5 years left. Even after hearing that, I plan to still work full time as long as I can. I am told that I probably won’t see my 40th birthday. I share a little bit here and there about my struggle with depression, anxiety, and how the disease is affecting me through my social media accounts. At home, I am a mess. I am crying non-stop thinking about how I am going to leave a special needs child without her mother. I am angry- because the doctors should have caught this disease so many times before. I am pathetically hopeful that my lungs are not damaged because then maybe I will live to see 40. 
 
The test results on my lungs come in.
 
Clear.
 
My lungs are clear. That’s the best news I could get. Maybe I will see 40 after all? With this piece of great news the doctors begin to suppress my immune system and I am prescribed Cymbalta. A few days into taking Cymbalta I lose consciousness walking into a CVS parking lot. At the ER my husband and I were told that less than 1% of people who take Cymbalta have this issue where the brain basically shuts down. Great. What will I do now for my pain? I am put on bed rest until the Cymbalta has worked its way out of my system.
 
My Rheumatologist tells me that he can’t prescribe me anything in place of the Cymbalta. Really? Of all the pharmaceuticals in the entire world, the only prescription drug to treat my neuro-muscular pain is Cymbalta? Nothing else? Fine. I nod my head and tell my doctor that I understand. Meanwhile a plan is forming in my head and I have just written this guy off as stooge of The Man.
 
I reach out to a friend who was cut from the same cloth as I was. She has MS. She tells me that there is another way.
 
A way I was already considering.
 
CBD. And, yes, even THC.
 
This time things are are different. CBD was made legal across all 50 states by the Federal government. The Farm Bill passed and CBD is legal! The question I have now is, “which on is legit and which one is a rip off?”

Thus began my deep dive into the scandalous world of the Devil’s Lettuce, cannabis.

I am an advocate of a better way as I have experienced a radical change in my health over the last 6 weeks. Just 4 days into my journey with this and my partner at work said I was different. I was, I felt different but I wanted to make sure it wasn’t just wishful thinking. I kept quiet. I didn’t want to post to social media because of the “stigma.” Then one day about a month ago I posted about CBD and few friends messaged me. I answered their questions and moved on. Then the other day I had this thought, “F the stigma, this stuff matters! People need to know!” This hasn’t affected me negatively, it has helped me. Why should I hide in shame because someone doesn’t understand what CBD really is?

 
I am still me. In fact, I feel more like the me before I got sick. 
 
The laws need to change (I do believe that eventually it will all be legal) but that change will be slow coming unless the people know about it. 
 
I am going to advocate for a better way because I do believe that CBD is the TRUE Essential Oil.
 
#CBDtheEssentialOil
 
 
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