Milk & Cookies

To sound totally basic, I did a thing.

Well, I, actually, did a few things.

To dive right in. I cannot deny that I am incredibly overweight and I am not fit enough to be the mother I need to be to my Sweet Girl.

I was tired of feeling the way I felt and I wasn’t going to lose the weight from my stress eating without help.

I know that nothing changes, if nothing changes.

So I saw a commercial for this app and signed right up. My cheapass even bought some DNA kit, which, in hindsight, was probably a total waste of money. BUT Sleep-Deprived-2am-Me felt like it was a solid investment.

THEN, because I signed up at 2am, I completely forgot that I signed up. Fast forward a few days and I was like, “why is this company emailing me?” I finally opened the email and was like “DUH! Oh man, I hope I can get my money back.” But then that little voice inside my head, the one I usually leave bound and gagged in a the back of my mind, somehow managed to get the gag loose enough to be like, “Let’s at least try the free trial?”

ANNNNDDD sooooo here I am on Day 3 of an 8 month commitment to lose 80 pounds.

SAY WHAAAAAT???!!!!

Then.

Because I am an all or nothing kind of badass (or moron).

I also signed up to do a Hotworx session. Again, just a free trial because I truly don’t know what I am getting myself into. If I survive, I’ll join.

What’s that saying, “Go big or go home and sit on the couch and eat Milk & Cookies?”

Mmmm Milk & Cookies… Ooops, sorry, where was I?

Saturday at 10am, I will be at Hotworx, in an infrared sauna, doing yoga in 125 degree heat!

TF am I thinking? I can’t even blame that on Sleep-Deprived-2am-Me.

If I survive, I may just write a blog about it. If I was braver, I would make a video- but I am not.

If you have read any of my blogs it has been a rough year+ and there is no doubt that I was eating my feelings. I hate to admit this but I am the heaviest I have ever been.

I have talked to a few different fitness experts/coaches and they want to go balls to the wall and if my daughter didn’t have Epilepsy and I wasn’t fighting depression and PTSD I may have been ready to put my balls to the wall but as it is my balls will remain off the wall.

I am ready to make healthier changes and I believe my WHY is strong enough but I feel that this will have to be a slow journey.

One other thing I agreed to do, I agreed to see a therapist and my first appointment is Thursday.

Again, nothing changes, if nothing changes. I feel that between writing this blog, going to therapy, using this new program, and POSSIBLY attending Hotworx classes that I will find a way to be the full mother-package to my Sweet Girl.

Cheers to change.

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